INFANT SLEEP: SETTING AN EARLY FOUNDATION
Figuring our what you should be doing with your new baby in terms of sleep is probably one of the most confusing things new parents face. Everyone tells you something different! As with everything else, we believe that you are the expert in your individual baby…but we offer some words of advice and sample guidelines for those first few months.
Here is something most people don’t know—tiny babies don’t want to be awake for long periods of time! From zero to two months, your baby’s maximum awake time is 45-60 minutes from the time they wake up. You would feed, coo and play for this awake time and then put them back down for the nap. From three to four months, your baby’s maximum awake time increases to somewhere between 60-120 minutes. Look for their sleep cues (yawning, zoning out) so you can put them back down for another nap before they get overtired.
If your baby is under 4 months, things are still pretty baby-led so don’t worry too much about getting your little one on a schedule right now if they don’t seem like they’re ready. Just take a look at the attached document and do the best you can in establishing a routine. Think about your baby’s day in terms of blocks of time. You have the wake-up time, followed by feeding, play/tummy time, downtime and then nap time. These blocks of time repeat throughout the day. Remember their daytime routine is key to getting them on a good night schedule.
Many parents of 2-4 month olds ask us about “sleep training.” We believe it is too early to institute any hard and fast rules about sleep at this point.
However, you should start to develop a routine that you go through as you get your baby ready for a nap or night bedtime. Put on some soothing music, put down the shades, read a story, walk your baby around their room saying goodnight to everything. At this age, think about putting them down at their “real” bedtime—meaning pick a time (say between 6:30-7:30PM) as their bedtime.
Around this time you can start to lay the foundation for healthy sleep habits. Healthy sleep affects a child’s overall health, including ability to learn. Many experts, such as Dr. Marc Weissbluth, advocate putting a baby down for a nap/sleep in a “quiet alert” state. Typically, babies reach this state after the feeding and play blocks of time. By putting them down before they are over-tired, you are accomplishing a couple things: you are giving them a chance to learn to “self-soothe” and fall asleep on their own, and you are catching them in the window before they get overtired and it becomes difficult for them to fall asleep.
At this age, it is important to be responsive to your baby. Don’t worry too much about enforcing a schedule—it’s too early to expect your baby to stick to one. That said, it’s not too early to start to formulate a “schedule goal” that will ensure your baby is getting enough sleeping, eating, play and down time. At around 4 months (for most babies), you can start to be more vigilant about sticking to the schedule you have come up with for your baby.
It can be inconvenient for you sometimes, but having a schedule in mind as a goal can go a long way towards giving your child the gift of healthy sleep habits! Don’t hesitate to ask your pediatrician if you are concerned about your baby’s health in any way.
SAMPLE SCHEDULE
We will use 7 am as the standard wakeup time…you can find a wake-up time that works well for you and your family but sleep pundits say that 6:30/7AM is the optimal window and there is a good chance your child will need to be up by then when they start preschool.
If you decide on 7AM, and your baby is still asleep at 7AM, you may need to go in and gently wake them up. You could open the shades, speak to them in a soft, gentle voice and gently stroke them. If your baby wakes up before 7AM, you may not need to go in right away, unless they sound distressed. They might fall back asleep!
7:00am. Wake up your baby. Nurse and/or bottlefeed. Play/Tummy time.
8:15am. Start to dial back the activities and get them ready for a nap.
8:30-8:45am. Put them down for a nap. Some babies need/like to nurse for a bit before nap time. If you can avoid having your baby fall asleep on the breast/bottle, do! The idea is you don’t want them to become dependent on that to fall asleep. Every baby will sleep for a different amount of time—naps usually range from 45 min to 1.5 hours. Try to keep them in the crib for at least 45 min even if they don’t sleep. Alternatively, wake them after 1.5 hours. You don’t necessarily want them taking super long naps during the day because you want them to be awake enough to eat enough so that they won’t wake up to eat at night.
9:30-10:30am. This will likely be the range of wake up times from your baby’s first nap.
10:30am. Nurse and/or breastfeed. Play/Tummy time.
11:45am. Start to dial back the activities and get ready for a nap.
12:00pm. Put them down for their nap. Every baby will sleep for a different amount of time. (Maybe some days you take them to lunch with you in their car seat and hopefully they sleep during the lunch!)
1:00-2:00pm. This is likely the range for wake up times from this nap. 1:00-2:00pm. Nurse and/or breastfeed. Play/tummy time.
2:30pm. Start to dial it back and get them ready for their last nap of the day (if they are closer to 2 months they may still want a “swing” nap which is a short nap so that they can stay away until designated bed time). The time for the last nap will depend on when you put your child to bed. If you are putting them down around 7, and know that they can’t last more than two hours awake before then, then think about letting them sleep a bit longer from their midday nap so you can put them down closer to 3-3:30 and they sleep until about 4:30.
3-3:30PM Put them down for nap.
4-4:30 This is likely the range of wake up times for the last nap. Think about waking them up no later than 4:30 so they can build up enough “sleep pressure” to go back down for their bedtime.
4-430 Nurse/Bottlefeed. Play and tummy time.
6-6:30. Feeding. Some people will nurse one side. Then give their baby a bath, then nurse on the second side after. You may also think about giving your baby a bottle right before bed after nursing to make sure they aren’t hungry. This “cluster feeding” works well for some babies that are hungrier later in the day and may help them sleep longer at night. Keep in mind that your baby will have growth spurts so they may eat more at these times than you would expect.
6:30-7:30pm. Bedtime. Most babies will wake up 1-2 times during the night to feed.
A quick word on dreamfeeds…a dreamfeed is when you get your sleeping baby out of bed, usually right before you go to bed (around 10-11PM), and feed them essentially while they are still asleep. Minimize any activity that may wake them up but we suggest that you do burp them after the feed. This is a good way to get some extra ozs to your baby, and some parents feel that it helps a baby sleep for a longer stretch overnight. Feel free to try this out and see if it works for you.