BIG KIDS & HEALTHY EATING HABITS

Chances are that most of you reading this have had and may still have some pretty heavy issues with food. Man/Woman, Young/Old, Rich/Poor….eating disorders and issues can affect all of us.

When we had babies, we lived by the maxim: We as parents decide what and when the little ones eat, and they decide how much they eat. As the kids get older and out of the high chair, things can become a bit more complicated. Here are some pretty solid rules to live by when it comes to helping your kids continue to develop a good relationship about food.

You are your child’s first role model in developing eating habits.

Yep, they are watching you. If you feel pretty good about your eating habits, great! If not, use this as an excuse to develop better eating habits for yourself. An important goal is to communicate to you children that they should listen to their bodies and “trust their guts.” For example, some days they may not be too interested in food. Other days they may seem insatiable.

I can relate! It would suck if someone tried to force me to eat if I wasn’t hungry OR worse still, denied me food if I was hungry. Narrate your choices. “Wow! I can’t seem to get full today. Should I eat chips or some oatmeal….hmmm….chips are tasty but leave me feeling kid of sick after I eat them….oatmeal gives me energy and makes me feel full. And, if I use a little cinnamon and a sprinkle of brown sugar it will also satisfy my craving for something sweet.”

At some point, your child is going to decide for themselves what to eat. So it’s better, I think, to cede them some control around 5-6 years old so they get practice at making healthy choices. Sure they will choose junk sometimes and that may be okay with you. But other times they may surprise you (in a good way) by making a healthier choice.

Take a look at what food you have around.

Kids become pretty savvy around age 3 about what foods are in the cupboards and may start to request things you don’t necessarily want them to eat. If you have Doritos and Oreos galore, guess what—your kids will want them. Once they get a bit older, they will be able to help themselves to whatever is there so, again, maybe time to think about what you have on the shelves.

Focus on moderation.

This is a tough one. The two ends of the spectrum are giving your kids the power to choose what they eat from a wide range of choices and the other end of the spectrum is complete withholding of unhealthy foods.

In my experience working with families, there does not appear to be any reliable correlation between how much junk food you should offer your kids and how much they will want to eat. We all hear stories about kids who were not allowed any junk food at home and then would become obsessed with junk food and have no off-switch when they got ahold of some. But there are also many cases of kids having access to junk food and still not having an off-switch.

The key is to seek moderation wherein you let your kids know you expect them to eat healthy meals and also offer them treats and let them partake in cake at parties, etc.

Talk about how different foods make us feel.

I definitely don’t feel so good after I eat fried foods, even if I enjoy it while I’m doing it. Without being obsessive about it, try to engage your kids in talking about how things feel while they are eating them (e.g. how does it feel to bit into an orange slice? How does your tummy feel after eating a donut?).

You can also share your experiences (e.g. Boy, that ice cream cake was good but I feel a little sick—maybe next time I’ll try a smaller piece). This is a long-term play—likely your kids will still want junk food but they will become more thoughtful about the relationship between what they eat and how their body feels after.

Try not to label food as “good” or “bad”.

Kids will figure out pretty quickly that what is good to you, is not good to them and vice versa. We don’t want to introduce veggies as just “good for you” because it sort of connotes that they aren’t tasty.

And yes, ice cream usually has high sugar and fat contents, but it also may have calcium, protein, a little vitamins A & D and its delicious and should be enjoyed from time to time without guilt or shame.

All foods should be introduced as neutrally as possible.

Educate the kids on what different foods do for our bodies.

Not only is it kind of cool to know that calcium actually helps our bones grow, but it’s important for kids to know that we eat to fuel our bodies and help us grow.

Again, you are helping kids make connections about their eating choices and their bodies.

Move away from the idea of “snacks.”

A snack is just a smaller portion of foods they might eat at a meal. If you child is refusing lunch then asking for a snack, that is a sign that your snack offerings maybe could be a bit healthier.

One suggestion for this is to just save their leftovers from lunch and say, “Oh I guess you aren’t hungry right now. We can save this for when you get hungry.” In other words, this is going to be the next thing you eat—not Cheeze-Its.

Also, the more food they eat outside of mealtime, the less they will eat at meals. When our kids are toddlers, they need to eat every few hours. As they get older, there can be longer periods of time between meals. Some families don’t offer snacks—they just eat bigger meals.

Of course, if you child is headed to soccer practice or something where they are expending a lot of energy you want they to feel fueled up so in that case having a bite to eat outside of mealtimes is appropriate.

Don’t use food as a reward.

Eating is a neutral activity. Once you start rewarding certain behaviors with treats, kids start to learn that food should be used as comfort or as a prize. This can lead to unhealthy eating habits.

Instead, offer hugs and a listening ear for comfort and often time kids don’t need prizes—they often feel good about what they did if you say something like, “Wow you worked really hard on that. How does that make you feel?” We don’t need to take them to Coldstone every time they accomplish a goal.

One thing that comes up time and time again is the temptation to say, “If you finish your dinner, then you can have dessert.” So in a sense, you are rewarding the fact that they ate healthy food by giving them unhealthy food. I prefer to say, “This is what is for dinner. If you are hungry, eat it, if you aren’t that is ok, too, but I am not offering anything else to eat.”

Some nights I offer a sweet after dinner, but if there was a trip to Baskin Robbins after school then I won’t offer an additional treat that evening. I don’t always announce if there will be a sweet offered. But I do encourage them to eat their dinner if they are hungry and I gently remind them they should fill up to keep them satiated until breakfast.

Sometimes, if we eat an early dinner and stay up kind of late I will offer apple slices or a slice of cheese at some point before bedtime. Those are both pretty filling and also easy on the teeth.

Encourage eating “with your peeps.”

Studies show that breaking bread with others plays an important in keeping us feeling happy. Beyond fueling our bodies, eating is an important part of how we socialize together and we know that eating with others encourages a healthy relationship with food.

Try to have meals sitting down, without screens.

Running around while eating is no bueno for many reasons: higher risk of choking, getting distracted and not finished meals, not engaging with others while eating together. You can have a household rule wherein you sit while you eat.

As far as screens go, watching something while eating is so distracting that our bodies aren’t focusing on what we are eating, if we are feeling full, etc.

Involve the kiddos in food shopping, meal planning, meal prep & clean up.

This is a home run, guys. Get them involved in the process and they are more likely to try new things, get more excited about healthier choices, adopt a lifelong practice of paying attention to what they eat and learn important life skills about food and eating.

We all know it’s often more work to have them help (in the beginning—as time goes on it’s actually pretty awesome to have a sue chef who can prep foods and actually MAKE DINNER for you) but it’s so worth it.

Remember – when they make mistakes/make messes/break stuff (because yes all of those will happen)—we celebrate mistakes! Your attitude about that will make it more fun and enticing to jump in and be a helpful part of the process.

If you tend to order out a lot, involve them in the ordering process. Believe it or not, but ordering a meal for a family is a learned process and it will give your child a chance to practice and likely they will be more willing to try new things if they were involved in placing the order.